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Shadowcat5150
I donno what to say except I love to draw and listen to music. I don't play games much, but that doesn't mean I don't get into them. One thing I will say, though, is when it comes to my art I don't have a definite art style.

Age 30, Female

In my own imagination. :)

Joined on 6/22/08

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Comments

Thank you for giving your side of the story, this was a lot to wake up too

Man, wtf. First my aunt tells me about some 13yo with asperger that is addicted to porn and can't shut up about it school, resulting in him getting kicked, and now Johhnny made this big mistake.
Should I be worried that I will hurt someone as well?!? This sucks.
Anyway, I hope that johnny man ups and will be able to control himself fully, with his mind able to ignore some needs, or at least "shortcuts" to them.

It is normal for any child coming into puberty to be curious about sex as their hormones are only just starting to develope. It does not help that we live in a society today where children are exposed to sex at an early age by television, video games, and now the internet and schools. Even with parental protection put in place. The aspergers is not what made him a sex addict. What made him a sex addict was the unhealthy relationships he made and his need to feel wanted and needed. This is something that can happen to anyone. The only thing the aspergers did was give him a different mentality and make him behave immaturely and impulsively, as lack of impulse control is a big factor of aspergers.

Having autism does not excuse an ADULT preying on a child. Sorry, but there’s no coming back from that. You should consider reevaluating how you think of these things going forward, as it is not acceptable in ANY circumstance. This kind of behavior is why predators get away with this shit, it’s so fucking sickening.

Not once did I say he should get away with it and not once did I say his autism should be an excuse. I said he should hold himself accountable because he done fucked up and he needs to face it. I only stated that his autism is why he feels more comfortable interacting with people younger than him. Because he feels younger than he is. If you believe that I am making excuses for him, you are within your right to do so. But please do not ignore what I actually said.

@AlfaFranek I have autism and was groomed, quite willingly mind you, as 11 or 12 year old on the internet. I think it's not so much worrying you will hurt someone as worrying they can hurt you. It's usually that way, not the other. But autism can also make you self centered enough not to notice you hurt people.

We should teach people that sexual involvement is not the end all be all, and that attention is not nearly as good as self actualization. It actually impedes it. Johnny has always been a little on the gullible side, and genuinely and visibly suffering the worst depression, anxiety, and imposter syndrome. And he also believed for the longest time he would never have anyone.

I'm not justifying his actions in any way. He should have known and done better. I hope he gets help. Maybe nearly losing everything he has, in terms of his reputation will make him see that.

I'm saying all this as someone who 100 percent chose to remain in contact with people I knew were over 18 at that age and essentially dictated the tone of those online relationships. If I wasn't smart about my ASL, I could have been sexually abused or kidnapped. But I chose to interact with them in dubiously sexual manner because I liked the attention and I admired them. That lead to more inappropriate relationships online with men at a later age but still minor, and behaviors. It didn't stop before I was banned from my favorite game. I was hugely addicted to porn and cyber for a long time. These sorts of things take time to develop and generally progress until they're found out.

So in that sense, I'm just genuinely surprised after reading all this that Johnny didn't go the way of Chris Chan. The backstory is almost the same, except Johnny is genuinely talented and he did manage to live somewhat on his own. Plus no kiwi farms.

@AlfaFranek @Shadowcat5150 Not to mention aspergers makes it really hard to have normal healthy relationships. You are the weird kid who no one likes, and so you tend to retreat online, be socially awkward. If it was in real life, do you think Johnny would have the confidence to flash someone or be inappropriate to a child? For one the proximity to children or teens likely wouldn't be there. We're in an Era where children are like you said so exposed to sex and porn in almost every facet of their lives, and where chatting is easier than ever before. No wonder successful internet personalities are often implicated in these sorts of affairs.

Thank you for sharing your story.

This needed to be said, Lyra.

After trying to sort my emotions and my thoughts with this whole situation, I've come to realize that part of the reason I posted this was because in a way I feel responsible for him. I feel I could have been more vocal and better at helping him understand that his behavior was a serious problem, even though I had already told him so on several occasions. I felt like I could have done more, and then maybe this would have never come to pass. I have been reminded that it is not my fault, but my feelings have not changed. I feel like I failed him as a friend and guide.

It doesn’t matter why he did it, only that he did. Bringing up the fact that he has autism has nothing to do with it. He chose his own path and he can rot in it.

@Shadowcat5150 that's the survivor's guilt speaking. At the end of the day, nobody is responsible for his actions but himself. There's a limit to how much an individual person can do for someone else, that also somehow manages to cross the boundary of "delay the inevitable" to "cure someone of their afflictions". It's like asking someone if they tried their best after they failed a test, well you could always say "no" because of the (false) notion that if you tried harder you could've changed the outcome.

I recognize that. I also recognize that with all that has been happening my emotions and mental state have been all over the place, and I have been allowing myself to feel and think what I need to in order to let it pass. The guilt is just one of those things. I am doing better than I was, though.

@Shadowcat5150 it's never nice to lose a friend, regardless of their personal character or actions. I didn't know TJG much beyond the occasional interaction here and there, but I do know that it'd be difficult if I found out one of my friends did something unthinkable, even if I saw it coming, so to speak.

First of all, just want to say, this is all news to me. But from what I've been hearing this is a very serious thing. Unlike the last time I stumbled onto a situation similar to this, I am reading all this as it's still fresh and new and it gives me a fresh take. In this case, I read everything on all sides before I come to a conclusion.

Now after reading all things about it and looking into all the evidence and proof that was provided in all sides of the argument including Johnny's. A lot of the evidence is concrete, it proves that he did in fact without any room for reasonable doubt, do these things and it's irrefutable. And that he should be held accountable for his actions. I'm sorry Johnny, but what you did was not just stupid, but completely wrong and you should be held for it. You broke a lot of hearts with this. As soon as I read it all, I immediately unfollowed him.

Having said that, first things first, from the bottom of my heart, I do apologize that you lost a friend this way. Sad thing is I do know what it's like to find out someone you care about or had a history with turned out to be a piece of shit and it's one of the reasons I try to think before I act, before I decide to lose someone. What you said on this, I can tell required a lot of thinking before acting and I am glad you at least said your piece on the matter.

NO NO NO. this is my fault I messaged him on his beautiful song tears of black just last year tell him to message me please his music reached me we need each other

Please Johnny read this its not about being there for you I feel you let's make music

None of you are there for him you probably spent more time on this post than supporting him. Fuck you, you let him be this way because you couldn't support his dream

@AhWham why? Makes it worse

Tears of black is iconic

Update on this, Johnny is still around under another username, trying to get people NOT to talk about what he did, taking down Zero Hour's project files on trello and so forth.

If anyone tries to tell you NG staff or Moderators oppose talking about what he did, as long as you aren't breaking the law or doxxing him, it's staff's official stance that he will just have to deal with it. He did something heinous. We are allowed to talk about it.

That is all